Four of a Kind

A quick note - If you don't want to hear a great deal of detail about Leigh's cervix, I'd advise you to skip this post entirely.


Leigh enjoying some fries at a time before she was dilated four centimeters.

Well, we just returned from the doctor with some interesting and rather heartening news - Leigh is now four centimeters dilated on both sides of her cervix.

"Both sides of her cervix?" you might ask. "I've never heard of such a thing! Does Leigh have a really bizarre cervix or something?"

The answer to that question is evidently yes, although while answering in the affirmative I'm sure I'd be trying to figure out if I should sock you in the face for asking such an insulting and personal question.

See, here's the deal - a few weeks ago, when we reported that Leigh was dilated three centimeters, Leigh was actually dilated one centimeter in the front of her cervix and four centimeters in back. Having different numbers like that is very unusual. So unusual, in fact, that when doing her exam, Dr. McDermott said that Leigh's cervix was "very strange." Still, she said that Leigh was dilated to the equivalent of a three if we didn't want to go super in-depth about it. Same exact deal last week.

This time, things have evened up. Leigh is now an honest-to-God four centimeters dilated front to back, although Dr. McDermott still said that Leigh's cervix is "really messed up" - a phrase I'm sure every woman is excited to hear. The good doctor was even able to hook her finger around the opening of the cervix, which is evidently thrilling news but created sensations about which Leigh was rather less excited.

The really interesting thing is that four centimeter dilation is all that's necessary to be granted entrance to the birthing suites - in terms of dilation, Leigh is in fact already done with the first stage of labor. All that is missing are contractions. How Leigh is walking around four centimeters dilated without having any contractions or just shooting that baby out like a greased pea out of a straw is anybody's guess.

Regardless, Dr. McDermott told us that childbirth was imminent (which was news we greeted with cold, skeptical stares) and that if all else failed she would induce labor early next week - likely on Monday.

So, it's not as if we haven't heard this before, but the latest word on the streets is that we should have a baby by Monday at the latest. All I can say is that if Sophia tries to upstage our wedding anniversary by arriving on Sunday, she will have to be severely disciplined.

Back off, Child Protective Services, I'm just kidding. Mostly.

By the way, the photo accompanying this piece has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter. I just enjoyed Leigh's look of utter satisfaction while she's eating those fries. This despite the fact that they were almost criminally undersalted, thanks to our friend Tracy telling the waiter that Leigh was "already bloated enough" and didn't need to "retain any more water."

Classic stuff. Thanks, Tracy.