Unbelievable excitement ensues as two Seattleites prepare for a baby!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Four of a Kind

A quick note - If you don't want to hear a great deal of detail about Leigh's cervix, I'd advise you to skip this post entirely.

Leigh enjoying some fries at a time before she was dilated four centimeters.

Well, we just returned from the doctor with some interesting and rather heartening news - Leigh is now four centimeters dilated on both sides of her cervix.

"Both sides of her cervix?" you might ask. "I've never heard of such a thing! Does Leigh have a really bizarre cervix or something?"

The answer to that question is evidently yes, although while answering in the affirmative I'm sure I'd be trying to figure out if I should sock you in the face for asking such an insulting and personal question.

See, here's the deal - a few weeks ago, when we reported that Leigh was dilated three centimeters, Leigh was actually dilated one centimeter in the front of her cervix and four centimeters in back. Having different numbers like that is very unusual. So unusual, in fact, that when doing her exam, Dr. McDermott said that Leigh's cervix was "very strange." Still, she said that Leigh was dilated to the equivalent of a three if we didn't want to go super in-depth about it. Same exact deal last week.

This time, things have evened up. Leigh is now an honest-to-God four centimeters dilated front to back, although Dr. McDermott still said that Leigh's cervix is "really messed up" - a phrase I'm sure every woman is excited to hear. The good doctor was even able to hook her finger around the opening of the cervix, which is evidently thrilling news but created sensations about which Leigh was rather less excited.

The really interesting thing is that four centimeter dilation is all that's necessary to be granted entrance to the birthing suites - in terms of dilation, Leigh is in fact already done with the first stage of labor. All that is missing are contractions. How Leigh is walking around four centimeters dilated without having any contractions or just shooting that baby out like a greased pea out of a straw is anybody's guess.

Regardless, Dr. McDermott told us that childbirth was imminent (which was news we greeted with cold, skeptical stares) and that if all else failed she would induce labor early next week - likely on Monday.

So, it's not as if we haven't heard this before, but the latest word on the streets is that we should have a baby by Monday at the latest. All I can say is that if Sophia tries to upstage our wedding anniversary by arriving on Sunday, she will have to be severely disciplined.

Back off, Child Protective Services, I'm just kidding. Mostly.

By the way, the photo accompanying this piece has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter. I just enjoyed Leigh's look of utter satisfaction while she's eating those fries. This despite the fact that they were almost criminally undersalted, thanks to our friend Tracy telling the waiter that Leigh was "already bloated enough" and didn't need to "retain any more water."

Classic stuff. Thanks, Tracy.


Blogger ganancy said...

This is totally without tact, but sometimes when you go to the doctor and they get a little too friendly, like your doctor, Leigh, it sometimes starts things up, if you know what I mean... Who knows, things may already be cooking as I write this. Congratulations on getting to 4 already, no matter if it is messed up or not!!! Way to go! Love ya, GANANCY

9:48 PM

Anonymous gordo said...

FOUR!! How, um, Fabulous? I'm thrilled that she's an August baby!! Some of the coolest people I know have been born in August!!

I anxiously wait like the rest of the world.


9:58 AM

Blogger Jim Holland said...

I know assault is a crime, but wasn't aware that undersalt was a violation. Was this simple or aggravated undersalt?

Unconnected or not, I stll think it is the French Fries that has Leigh at "4".

As evidenced by the above, you're not the only one going a little stir-crazy, Chris...


5:03 PM

Blogger Angela said...

Reading this blog beats reading any human anatomy and physiology text books. I love the graphic descriptions and "flowery" language you used. Good work Chris, this is some powerful birth control. Leigh, power to you sister!

1:15 PM

Anonymous Brenda said...

Congratulations Mama and Daddy Hafner!!! And welcome Sophia.

7:57 PM

Anonymous Karen Evans said...

Umm, so do we have a baby yet or not??

1:07 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

CONGRATULATIONS Leigh and Chris. Glad to hear things are going better now. I must say, Chris, that Sophia definitely looks better than you in the picture. She's adorable! Hang in there. I promise it will get easier.
Mary Evans

11:13 AM


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